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[See how disrespectful to America many Republicans have been for at least 20+ years. Current events are not a surprise to those paying attention. This is from an op-ed I wrote in March of 2003. The names have changed since then, but the attitudes have only gotten worse. 🙁 ]
“For God’s sake, Adlai’s half bald, he’s got a paunch, he wears his clothes in a dumpy kind of way. What’s he got that I haven’t got?”
The answer?
“He conveys the idea that they are intelligent and worth listening to. He cares about what they’re saying and what they’ve done, and that’s really very fetching.” Then Kennedy concluded, “Well … I’m not sure I can go to those lengths.” [from Pulitzer Prize-Winning Personal History by Katherine Graham]
Not Listening, versus Democracy
What is the quality of a relationship if one or both parties cannot “go to those lengths” of actually listening? That’s a question for friendships and families as well as nations. Whatever the not-listening is, it is not good democracy.
Surely a basic idea of democracy is that we actually need to hear one another’s perspectives.
Collaborative work requires taking other people’s ideas seriously, treating all our associates as individuals with … real intellectual experience from which we can benefit. …
Collaboration is a multiplication of heads … you bring the best of who you are and what you know to the table … and together you think and act in ways that might not have been available to either of you alone.” [Tom Morris, If Aristotle Ran General Motors]
Some leaders believe they can do much better than “the people’ at managing public affairs, and at doing the public’s work for them. Unfortunately, even we Americans — thankfully still a very free people — are tempted to go along with this logic from time to time.
I think the not-listening has two main causes.
First, there’s the Bandwagon Effect.
For example, Coyote Country radio here in McCook (along with many stations nationwide) is evicting songs by the Dixie Chicks from air time. We can tell this is a bandwagon thing, not a moral issue for these stations; if there were concern for the moral welfare of their constituencies they’d be censoring some of the songs they currently play. They’re not.
If the problem were offensive speech, dishonesty, or grossly indecent verbal assaults on government leaders, Rush Limbaugh would have been off the air long ago. Apparently it’s just a matter of the Bandwagon and the buck. Censorship seems to be ok if it happens to be temporarily popular or if it stands to pamper the bottom line (or maybe it’s just bare-knuckle politics, sorta like the “Papa Knows Best” problem below).
We’ve been assaulted by Rush, and by cheaply corrupting song lyrics, for years on end, thanks to many of these stations. Why can’t they permit one woman to say one sentence, not on the air, and for which she has since apologized, without massing to the slaughter? Because it’s faddish, and it’s worth a few bucks. But it is not democracy. And it does not even pretend to be even-handed.
There’s also the Papa Knows Best effect.
Papa has the experience and information; shut up and go along with Papa.
Last week Tom Daschle complained that the quality of Bush Administration diplomacy has been dangerously low. This is a crucial issue as we move (hopefully) to post-war reconstruction both in Iraq and in international relations. Multiple millions of people in the US and other countries are deeply concerned about this. At least listen, and respond as having heard.
Instead, he got called “unpatriotic.” He got from Tom DeLay, “Shut your mouth.” From Bill Frist, “Irresponsible”. Dennis Hastert said Daschle’s remarks, “may not give comfort to our adversaries, but they come mighty close.” In fact, Hastert’s remarks “come mighty close” to calling Daschle a traitor.
This is the kind of discussion we heard in junior high — from the idiots and bullies! As far as I know, it is neither illegal nor immoral nor traitorous to critique a sitting President. Sometimes it is the height of patriotism. “Collaborative work requires taking other people’s ideas seriously.”
We need the courtesy and intelligence to actually listen.
Democracies, family life, successfully run businesses, churches, city governments — all require the practice of hearing more than one voice.
Kennedy apparently thought women were not worth that kind of hearing; he couldn’t “go to those lengths.” But we need voices from more than one side of the gender line — or aisle — or age line — or issue; and we have to make room for those voices.
Collaboration —
which is what democracy and family life are both really about —
requires regular and very serious listening.
See Also:
– Francis Schaeffer’s Son, Disgusted, Leaves Republican Party
– What If Christians Don’t Listen to Jesus? See 5 Very Short, Very Important Stories from Matthew 7
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Questions for us:
1. Why, do you suppose, were the Republican leaders quoted in this article stooping to lies and violent speech?
2. In your experience has careful listening ever been helpful in improving a collaboration, personally or in any more public situation?
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