Civil Rights (Minorities, Race, Immig, Vets) LGBTQ Religious Right

‘Defense of Marriage’ Falsely So Called

Dear Representative Nozzollio.

It has come to my attention that you and other Republican representatives are co-sponsoring a DOMA bill for NYS. (DOMA S.2220) That is a Defense of Marriage Act. I must let you know that as a married heterosexual mother, I find the efforts that you and your fellow representatives expend in this exercise to be disingenuous and totally misguided.

My marriage of 13 yrs has never been in danger from, and does not need to be defended from any person of any sexual orientation securing equal rights. What my marriage does need to be defended from is the outsourcing of jobs from the United States. (It’s hard to raise a family on unemployment benefits).
My marriage needs to be defended from not having a working wage for everyone. (When both parents have to work outside the house just to pay bills, children suffer because there is a lack adequate child care available.)

I could list all the other things that put stress on my marriage and other heterosexual marriages and lead to the high divorce rate we have in this country, but no where on that list will you find that having John and Bill or Susan and Jane living down the street from me and entering into a loving and caring marriage and raising children in such an environment is something that I and my husband need to be “defended” from. I hope that you and the rest of my representatives can stop this obvious effort to divide our country and its citizens and get back to the job of truly representing all of us and securing equal rights for all.



This was “Posted by Vicki upstate Ny” April 21, 2004 09:03 am on, and is reproduced here with her permission. In her blog post, Vicki prefaced her letter with this: “I recently got a letter to the editor printed in my local paper about gay marriage. I also sent a copy to my NYS Senate Representative (Republican).”

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  • An old Irish Prayer
    May those who love us, love us
    and for those who don’t
    may God turn their hearts
    and if he doesn’t turn their hearts
    may he turn their ankles
    so we will know them by their limping

    God Bless everyone,
    we all need help

  • I think it’s sad a 14 yr. old doesn’t have a mind of their own…they get their ideas from their parents. Vicki is right. And sweetie, I’m sure she and her husband do love their kids and they do spend time with them. Marriage is an act between 2 people only. Whether 2 men, 2 women, or a man and a woman. It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Not to anyone else but them. If your God is against it, then let Him punish them when it comes to their time “at the gate” as you say. But for now, let them do what they want. America WAS built on freedom…but I guess you’re not old enough to have gone through a civics class yet.

  • quit being selfish. you act like u r the only 1 going thru something like this. u need 2 stop thinking about everything that is wrong with your life know and start thinking about the future of your kids. if u trust god, u shouldn’t be worried about both parrrents working. u should be worried about protecting marriage between 1 man and 1 woman. both of my parents work and love me and my brother and sister enough to sacrifice time in their lives to be with us. if u and ur husband love ur kids u should 2. i don’t think a 14 year old like myself should be having to tell an adult this.