I recommend for your attention this excellent recent comment by bookaholic. Here are some excerpts.
This little bit about Jesus: “he was not energized by and focused on his enemies” is some kind of key.
I spent several years in a small town where a favorite topic of conversation was the bad things other people did… At the same time, the atmosphere seemed to be saturated with high-profile Christianity; there was lots of God talk, much of it from the same people who were dispensing the negativity and gloom.
It’s possible to cultivate a habit of being energized by and focused on (fill in the blank). If you fill in the blank with something you don’t approve of, that disapproval will come to have a dominant role in your life and thoughts.
I have an unfortunate tendency to focus on the bad behavior of Christians, then I wonder why I have to drag myself to church…